Highway Star

Yesterday I survived an 8 hour drive across Kerala. Well yet another drive, considering I would have driven tens of thousands of kilometres by now, of which atleast 50% has been within Kerala. Here are some resourceful points that I want to share from my rich experiences.


The Truth About Highways in Kerala: Lessons you might not want to forget

You realise, very rarely, that a highway means a two lane stretch, but most of the times it is just one road with traffic in two, and sometimes even more directions. But who wants an expressway anyway. Anyways.. Be Alert!

You realise it is truly God's Own Country that you are driving in because here people believe in sharing. No matter how many lanes we have, we all share the lanes and preferably go through the middle, if not in the opposite side of the road. Share!

You get trained for a lot of situations in life. Some day, God forbid, India is at war and we will have a lot of trained Keralites ready for dog fight. Because attack comes constantly here in Kerala, in the form of pan masala (ground and liquidy red) delivered covertly from inside the KSRTC buses (sometimes you escape one and smile to yourself, when a second delivery hits you. surprise!!), banana peels from cars, spit made with lot of effort from passing scooterists, fishy salted water from fish trucks, sand grains from lorries.. the list is never ending. Bottom line - You have no escape. Please keep your windows up for your own safety!

You understand that not everything changes with time. You pass through certain stretches and see people walk across the road like they are going for their evening stroll, at snail's pace. I mean, we are talking about a highway!. And if your vehicle is fast approaching and you dare to look into their eyes, you will get the stare of your life so that you dare not make the same mistake again. The ground they walk on once used to be the land they walked on not so long ago too, the one they took their stroll on, so they dont care if its a highway or super highway today. You just need to stop and let them pass. Like wildlife. I remember doing the same once in Bandipur, when I had to wait for more than an hour for a lone tusker to move from the road. You just have to learn patience!

You firmly end up believing small is beautiful. The smaller your vehicle, the more your chances of reaching home safely. Small vehicle owners are kings. If you own a scooter you can go on the dividing line, right in the center of the road. If you end up in an accident, it doesnt matter who's fault it is, the smaller vehicle owner is the king - the larger vehicle owner gets beaten up, along with his vehicle. (And its even better if you dont have a vehicle and you are involved in an accident). Small is in!

You will realise, if you have driven long enough, that 60% of the people driving on the road are driving under the influence of alcohol. Just yesterday I saw an accident happen, probably a few minutes before I reached the spot. Two trucks collided, both the drivers were badly injured and taken to the hospital. Along with the wreckage, and among the glasses, I noticed atleast 3 liquor bottles and playing cards scattered. When you talk about Kerala, you talk about in-house entertainment.

You will see signs saying speed-limit is 30 and 40 kilometers per hour, which means you have to keep your engine going atleast at 60-80 kilometers per hour, or you risk being hit by fast moving vehicles. Always look for the real truth!

You might see trucks and lorries with the sign "sound horn"and "keep distance" behind them. The first, that's purely for your own entertainment, and the second is what will happen to you. Sound horn, and you will always be kept at a distance, behind!

You might, as an experiment, want to just try honking when you want to overtake, the next time you are in Kerala. You will realise what a mistake it was. Because 99 out of 100 times the vehicle in front will, slowly, veer towards the center of the road and ensure you eat your honk before they let you overtake them. But strangely, the horn is the most important tool in your armamentarium as well. Honk with care!

You would not want a medical check-up for a couple of months atleast after a drive in Kerala. The very fact that you are still kicking-alive is proof of a strong heart, good senses, good reflexes etc. Check your medical fitness before driving!

You realise the single important thing in your vehicle are the horns - thats the thing you will use the most in Kerala - not your brakes, accelerator, engine, wipers etc. Check your vehicles horn before you start, always!

You are always fraught with danger. But alas, never underestimate the danger, coz it comes in many forms. Pedestrians dancing along the road, children darting across, scooterists turning abruptly, cars changing lanes without signal, trucks stopping on the middle of the road, buses moving on your lane - towards you as well (the good thing about KSRTC buses is that you wont be able to identify the front or back of it - both look the same and the headlights wont work anyway!). Dangerous is the danger of driving here!

You will get to see, along with the green fields, serene backwaters, blue mountains, some of the most gruesome accidents. Seeing is believing!

You dont want to argue or justify yourself in case of an accident or a dispute, unless you are a thug or goon material yourself. It wont matter what the truth is or is not. Even if you are right, you will be argued with, shouted at and stared away! Doesn't matter what you believe, but attitude is what matters here!

You might not want to drive if you have motion-sickness. Chances of a road straight for more than 100 meters is very unlikely. Head spinning experience! Literally!

You understand that when a two wheeler rider turns his head to the left or right, it means only one thing. That he is going to turn left or right. And remember this, because this will be the only indicator, there wont be a blinking amber or a hand sign. Always look for the small signs!

You learn the tricks in night-time warfare. You may see a scooter with a single headlight moving towards you with great speed, but be warned, for it wont take long before you realise it was a bus with a single headlight working. Similarly, when you see two headlights approaching you, dont get worried, it could just be two scooterists chatting and driving side-by-side. Night vision goggles will soon become a necessity.

You end up thanking the person who taught you to drive. In my case it was my father, and the first thing he told me was "Anticipation is the most important thing while driving". Today I realise how true it was. I am always wondering what next. what if. will he? wont he? Anticipate!

You become a believer. You believe that God exists. Especially when you reach home safely. Always say your prayer!


So next time dont be surprised if you hear this annual news headline: Kerala continues to have the highest accident rate (number of accidents per thousand vehicles) in the country. The last few years have seen over 45,000 recorded accidents every year in the state, a big jump compared to the previous years.

We can blame the government, the roads and the vehicles, but most of all, we should blame our citizens.