My Name is..Kaun?

The Pathology of the Politics of Intimidation and Intolerance

Congrats to SRK, all the Indians living in Maharashtra and its capital city, earlier known as Bombay, and the chief minister of that state. SRK for standing up to what he believes and expressing his opinion as an Indian, the Indians for going out there to watch MNIK and reiterate we are Indians First, and the CM of Maharashtra for holding it all together. But if we look beyond (or beneath, if you prefer) the politics and publicity aspects of the MNIK saga, we can easily see why the politics of intimidation and coercion work, and why, more often than not, we cannot enjoy the privilege of the fundamental rights, assured by our nation's founding fathers to every Indian. Why do we think twice before doing what is right? Why are we coerced into silence when our hearts yearn to speak out? Why are we living in constant fear and threat, but left with the feeling nothing can be done about it?

Under normal circumstances, no law abiding Indian citizen should be afraid to express himself or herself, voice opinions, and perform duties or obligations, so long as all these fall within the framework of legality. Yet, we realize this is not the case in our cities and towns. The main reason is because the system has been hijacked by vested interests and corrupted (not just financially, but ideologically and politically as well) - the system, which is meant to protect every citizen, the system on which every citizen should have founded his or her faith, courage, and patriotism. And most importantly, the system which interprets, upholds and delivers the law and justice.

For example, lets take a bandh call by a political party, for a cause or reason that you dont support. Ideally you want to go to work and ignore the call, or perhaps you want to oppose the call because you feel they are wrong. But you cannot. Why? Because you get out, and they will burn your car and beat you up. Why? Because the system connives with them, instead of protecting you. Because the law enforcers and the civil administration are forced to become operators of the political agenda rather than justice. Why? Because they are taught to be loyal to divisions rather than the law, because they are polarized instead of being committed to the neutrality of the constitution. Because they are rewarded only for their allegiance to these forces, and not for their honesty and courage. Why? Because most politicians and their politics survive because of divisions, not because of their committment to the nation or its citizens, and these are the kind of people who can justify violence against women and Valentines day one day and call it an "attack on democracy" the day they get the same treatment. Why? Because people still support them and vote for them, instead of isolating them and shunning them!

Majority of the bandhs and hartals (and along with it, politicians and their parties) would go un-noticed, and definitely fail, if the police and the government machinery ensured there is no violence and coercion. Yet, this doesnt happen because tomorrow it may be the government's own party that may call the bandh. And the police and civil administration frequently get penalized for delivering justice and protecting the citizens, without taking sides.

Or let us take the example of an official demanding bribe. We would think twice before acting against him or her? Why? Because chances are that you will get isolated, be made to suffer, and ultimately become the only loser in the end. Why? Because the wrong-doers become mighty the moment the system is on their side.

Yet, as the educated youth become the majority and slowly "wrests the politics" from the politician, we are seeing signs of great change and glimpses of great hope. We dont need to respond to every violent politician by inking him black, and we wouldnt need to declare war every time a movie is released if we can free the system from the selfish, intolerant, divisive forces, and instead reinstate a system that will respond in the same way and remain neutral, whether its Khan, King, Karan, Kursheed, or anyone other Indian. Because, we are Indians First.

JUSTICE, social, economic and political;
LIBERTY of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship;
EQUALITY of status and of opportunity.

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Governance for Dummies

A few days ago, a newspaper reported a really worrisome news, which is really an extension of an even more disturbing trend.


It lists out the adhoc committee for the state chapter of the Indian RedCross Society as per a Kerala Government Order:

The ad hoc committee comprises ......a former commie MP, ...a commie councillor, ....a commie leader from Vanchiyur, ...a commie youth outfit leader, ...a former commie councillor, ...a commie leader .....a ..who is heading the nurses union of the commie..and a well known Congress Party leader.

This is a really terrible and totally disgusting policy taken by political parties. Every time they get elected, they ensure that their cronies get into key posts within all major organizations, profit making public companies, and not to mention government agencies. But I dont think the trend has reached a low like this to include the Red Cross Society too!.

While the politicians do this for their selfish gain and influence, what really happens is that misfits and people who have no clue about (and cant even understand) how to run organizations, companies, and institutions sit in the driving seat and take our state to the pits of inefficiency, corruption, and mismanagement. Until now we had to worry only about one thing: That we have totally inefficient and useless governments ruling our state forever. Now thats extended to more walks of our life.

Incidentally, this is an email forwarded by one of my friends some time ago:

A well-known political leader, was seated next to a little 5th grade girl on an airplane. The leader turned to her and said, ''Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger'.

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know', said the leader. 'How about nuclear power?'

'OK,' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic.

But let me ask you a question first:

'A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The leader turns towards his colleague in dismay. Thinks about it and says,

'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

The little girl replies:

'Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?! '


That just about sums up the state of affairs in Kerala.

_____________________________

While replying to a comment, I was lucky enough to find this piece. Priceless.



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Kerala This Week, Ver 2.02, 2008

I have heard that long ago, a Communist Government in Kerala, under the pretext of fighting feudalism and "muthalalis", declared that all paddy field should be owned by the workers, and went on to divide paddy fields. The result was that agriculture as an industry became very disorganized, failed to succeed in Kerala, and over the years many farmers have committed suicide and paddy fields have largely remained underutilized.


While the politicians continued to capture the heart of the workers by portraying that its all the fault of the rich and affluent farmers and ofcourse the opposition parties, decades later, the current rulers of Kerala are not far away from repeating the same kind of..shall we call it lack of sense? Or inability to govern intelligently? The current state of the farmers and the paddy fields is simplified for you very well here. But ofcourse, its all FOR the sake of the poor and needy people of Kerala.

More recently, our political leaders decided that their hard battles against the "rich and powerful" have yielded great results. Now that the poor are no more poor according to the communists, they have decided to take-over the Golf Club in Trivandrum - the rationale: its time that the sport is not limited to the affluent, and the poor and downtrodden should also get a chance to swing as well. But more importantly, the club will also be an ideal venue to host party meetings and a perfect party spot for district committee leaders and panchayat members to conduct their drinking binges. So why not?. Are we, their donkeys, ever going to protest?.

Well, I guess nobody would have protested, not even the impotent opposition parties, had it not been for the clumsy way in which the golf club take-over was attempted - once again displaying why our political leaders need to have minimum education, even if its just to do something really silly and atrocious.

The other "thing" thats keeping our leaders occupied and the people entertained is the "text-book issue". In their efforts to transform Kerala into a totally communist state, the leaders have decided to revise the state board textbooks and add chapters that highlight communist values, allegedly, so that the "next gen can grow up understanding the values better". But again, due to the lack of education, the guy in charge of executing the work didnt probably understand the difference between communism and communalism. That has set off a series of protests, hartals, battles, etc., between religious leaders, student leaders, and the political maestros of the state. Interestingly, nobody protested when our CM was, again allegedly, caricatured as a "father-figure", once again in a class V text book!


Picture Courtesy: Outlook India

Taking public-private partnership to a new low, the government has decided that we dont need Police in Kerala anymore. Instead the red brigade will administer their version of peace-keeping and ensure lawlessness. Even the commissioner will henceforth work according to their instructions, it seems. This applies to the press as well, while the "saadharankar" can watch and be entertained as usual.

Blaming the weatherman, once again, the electricity department and the KSEB have decided to re-introduce power-cuts in the state again. While the rest of the world has become educated enough to rely less on rains (including neighbours TN who harness even wind energy), 100% literate Kerala, along with its 100% illiterate political clan, are all set for darker days and nights. After all we dont have big factories or industries to run. In fact, the power-cuts will encourage our fastest growing industry - crime and theft.

Overall, we are in for the good times. Ofcourse, we asked for it, right?.
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Government? ufff! The People – Democrazy in DOC, Part 1

This is a citizen’s take on our much acclaimed democracy. In Kerala, if you said democracy, some people would get offended, but most others would get ruffled. “Demo-ya? Kooduthal demo venda ketta” (don’t show off too much) you would get warned. Of course, the crazy bit is quite obvious everywhere in DOC.

Over the last few years, I have had the privilege of experiencing the joy and pleasure of many typical government offices in Kerala’s capital city, Trivandrum, in pursuit of various clearances and permissions. Initially it was the KSEB and the city Corporation, visits which have scarred my soul permanently!. So let me wait a bit more and let them heal a bit more before I write about the "gods" there.

More recently, I had to go to the Tahashildar’s office (TO) in Trivandrum. This is because I made the mistake of applying for a particular permission some time last year at the District Collector’s office. The Collector’s office had processed my request within a month and in august last year they had sent out an order to the Tahashildar’s office, aptly copied to me, asking them to verify my records personally and report back WITHIN A MONTH so that they can grant the permission at the earliest. Now that there has not been any response for over 6 months, as a citizen in dire straits, I decided to do the needful and visit the gods at the TO.

The look and feel of the TO at Trivandrum is similar to that of any other Government owned office. There will be people thronging the entrance, with a very knowledgeable and influential cart-wala selling ethakka-appam (banana fritters, or fry for the uninitiated) and tea. The experienced person will know that this cart-wala is the man. I mean, The Man. The man who was the sole authority before the Right to Information act was passed recently, and the only person you could get any valuable information from. He will know how to get what you need, who to meet, how much to bribe, when to come, what time the particular office “section” person goes to the loo, after how many weeks he will come back from the loo-visit, and most such very essential details for you to get your work done. He will also sell you the required application and request forms, although they are "supposed to be" obtained only from inside free of cost. But you wouldn’t want to displease the gods.

If you observe the people, you will notice that there is a pattern. Every group will consist of one officer and his clients, and in most cases, an external consultant also. Consultants are required for cases which are chronic (acute – upto 5 years, limited to one office; chronic – 5 or more years, involving many offices, probably in different cities or towns, or many cart-walas). Most of them will be in their mundu, folded up high, smoking (remember smoking is banned in public places in Kerala) and randomly spitting to announce the satisfaction of the tea they just downed.

Once you enter, you will find more hapless people. These “ignorant fools”, the naïve applicants and aspirants from out of town or the relatively uncorrupted lot, who stand in queues in the sun, in front of the enquiry counter and other "windows", waiting for a darshan of the concerned officer to direct them to the higher gods.

After a few hours, if you finally manage to make it to the counter the enquiry guy directed you to, and by some stroke of luck you reach there some time before or after the tea break-lunch break-tea break sessions of the employees, you will again most likely see an empty seat. The other people in the next seat or “section” wont even look at you. And if they do, they will eye you with an evil look and throw up their question in a fast move to ask “what the hell do you want?”. Some others may enquire and make you spill out your entire history before dismissing you to come when the concerned person is there and not on leave.

While I was there, a hapless old lady who had come from another town, and was enquiring about some payment she had to get as refund. She was desperately trying to get the attention of the officer who was luckily in his seat, but was talking to his colleague three tables away, not bothered about the lady muttering “sir…sir”. Finally, irritated, he asked “what?”. And she began her story. He asked her straight to go to some other section, without even looking at her paper. She then explained she had gone there and showed the remarks made by that section. To that he asked if she had gone to another office at another place in Trivandrum. Tired and irritated herself, she explained that all the other offices had directed her to him.

As I witnessed the sad plight of the lady, I also observed how the noticeboards and even the doors and windows were pasted with notices from various unions calling for strike or raising demands. There were computers on a lot of tables, all looking like age-old junk, uncleaned and kept shabbily. I saw the “peon”, who peered at you as though he is above the Collector (must be, in a literal sense, in collecting bribes), throw files signed by the Tahashildar, onto the respective tables from far away, as though he were delivering newspapers. The officers didn’t mind; after all it’s the "chief collector" himself delivering the goods. 3 out of 10 officers in that room were wearing khaddar, possibly implying they were one of the union leaders. I also saw how papers kept flying from some of the tables. Some were picked up by the person at the desk, some others were left lying only to be picked by some passerby and kept back on the table. Some others were still on the ground as I moved away, wondering what if its some piece of paper that’s so vital to one of us.

I could move away since my number had come. This was my 6th visit to the office to meet the person in charge of my file. I was lucky enough to meet the person this time, and even luckier to make him move it to the next "section", which was at the next table, in just an hour - something that didnt happen for the last 6 months.

But if you have “met the right people” and “seen them in the right way”, you will see that these hardly working people become so hard-working, showing personal interest, full of energy, cheering up their colleagues to process your request. Files, which usually take weeks to move between adjacent tables, begin to move rapidly between rooms and even buildings. People even recognize you during your second visit.

There is so much more to write about our government servants. The same people come back to private offices, hotels, and hospitals, and demand quick service and better facilities, preferably for free. And one would think its only the older lot who were the problem. But I couldn’t find a lot of difference in attitude among the younger officers either. I suppose its only a matter of time before the rot spoils the good apples too.
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Tourism Rediscovered In God's Own Country

On November 1st, Kerala celebrated its 51st year of formation. And very aptly, the people of Kerala [at least the section that calls themselves BJP supporters - another party that has supports beyond the minimum number of people required to call a bandh/ strike that can disrupt life in Kerala and bring the state to a standstill - for the uninitiated, that magic figure is five (5)].

I happened to be in Kerala on that special day and observed how the state and its people were transforming and "progressing" with all these bandhs and shutdowns. One of the most important indicators of this transformation was the innovation the people have shown to survive these bandhs. Almost every household now has a collection of display boards made specially for their vehicles so that they can move around unharmed. It could indicate one of the following: "Vivaham", Ambulance, Police, Airport, Milk, or a Black flag. Any of these will most likely see you get to your destination without much harm. (DOC Tip for Readers: If at all possible, use the "Vivaham" (marriage/ wedding) sign - This is the Ace card as far as Kerala is concerned. If you are part of the wedding industry, all parties will welcome you and let you pass, no matter what the political agenda is.)

Bandhs are becoming so common in Kerala, that even tourists visiting the state carry their own "vivaham" board. Even Living Planet and other travel guides are recommending the same. Probably thats one reason why we are witnessing more foreigners getting married in Kerala.

Tourism Minister was not too much off the mark when he quipped last year that Kerala should open itself to "Bandh Tourism", and according to him more and more foreigners are visiting Kerala only to witness the bandhs and hartals. Inspired by his own discovery, he has not done much to promote any conventional tourist infrastructure.

Not to be left behind, other ministers and government officials have done their bit to promote tourism in their own ways.

CM is the biggest contributor to the tourism industry, beating the nearest competitor, the Leela Kempinski group, by a huge margin. It is said that people are visiting Kerala by the hordes to learn his gestures and humor (if I may use the word). He is now a close competition to George Bush, President of USA, as the leading political-cartoon character of the world. Apparently, yesterdays press-conference helped him up his ratings substantially when he said "Nature gives us rains. We should accept it and bear the difficulties caused. If the water comes in, find a way to get it out'' . This was in response to the havoc rains are causing to the state, and the pathetic roads and drainage systems in the state.

With a small collaboration, and a little help from the rains, the Water Resources Ministry and the Public Works Ministry have claimed that they have fulfilled their responsibilities in promoting tourism with the much-awaited Inland Waterway project. Since the actual project involved investments, planning, science etc, they decided to take an easier route to completion. The phase I, they believe will help both the water authority and the surface transport authority.


Inland Waterway Project, Phase I - Both surface and water transport feasible
- Pic Courtesy: Cosmet Surgeon via email

But they are more thrilled about the Phase II of the project, which they believe will help the common man as well as the Tourism industry. Phase II is already implemented at a few regions (see pic below), and will be extended to the entire length of the state before the end of this Government's term.


Inland Waterway Project, Phase II to benefit common man
- Pic Courtesy: Cosmet Surgeon via email



The only hindrance to the execution of the phase II they say is a clearance from the Fisheries Ministry. Although the central government has questioned they need for such a project, the government said it has decided to proceed with the implementation since its in the interest of the common man.

The State Health Ministry, in line with the Health Tourism plans of the Indian Government, also contributed significantly to the industry. Recent epidemics and disruptions in various health programs have resulted in a surge of visitors from other states and countries, especially organizations like the WHO, Union Health Ministry, etc. As long as people visit the state, does it matter why or for what?

The only underperformer has been the Education Ministry. With just controversies (ISRO, IIT, IISc, private medical colleges,..what not!), scams, campus murders (we have already forgotten the recent murders), and strikes and shutdowns in colleges and schools, more and more parents are sending their children out of the state. Its almost similar to the situation in the 60s and 70s, when Keralites went to "Gelf" to earn a living and escape from the horrors in Kerala. We got through the 80s and 90s solely on the Gelf money. Now its the turn of Bangalore and Chennai and Coimbatore money to get us through the 2010s and 2020s. Until then we have a fledgling Tourism Industry.

Welcome to God's Own Country. Dont forget your "vivaham" board!
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