THE 'SAVE KERALA' INITIATIVE

THE 'SAVE KERALA' INITIATIVE

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Mishaps, Tragedies, and Voices from the Grave

Every day we see an uglier face of our intolerance, crudeness and apathy. Whether its a national party expelling one its most prominent face for expressing his opinion, an MP being pestered for tweeting spontaneously, or the media being attacked for weighing all sides of the truth, it is something the judicial and social system needs to take a good strong look at. The freedom and privacy of an individual and the independence of the governmental machinery need to be preserved, for that is the very spirit of our constitution. But do we always need a mishap, tragedy or death to make us listen? Are we ever-willing to suffer and lose our loved ones before we consider change? It appears so.

The leaders we have elected conveniently forget their constitutional and democratic obligations. They seldom realize that people are more bothered about their daily bread,living in peace, good quality education for their children, having employment opportunities, and such simpler things of life. How many jobs has our government created in reality? Are we able to live and walk around in peace and security anymore? Are our children faring as good as our neighbours when it comes to the education our universities offer? These are more real and immediate questions in front of the people, and things we need to be secure about, before we worry about the ASEAN pact and responsible tourism.

Speaking of which, who is responsible for the Thekkady boat tragedy? Kerala Tourism earned Rs. 13130 crores in 2008, but what part of this money goes into the infrastructure and safety? If the boat that capsized was privately owned, wouldnt heads have rolled and fury been unleashed against privatization?

Newspapers have reported that officially 2467 persons died in road accidents in Kerala this year with 28,100 people getting injured. Where are the crores levied as road tax and license fees? Where does all the crores received from the central assistance and national funds go? Rs.7000 crores were written off and added to the state budget deficit to save the KSRTC. But what is going to save the people and their misery?

We have been worrying about the increasing number of crimes in Kerala for some time now, and about the criminal-politician links, and the paralyzing of the police and legal machinery by politicians. While the state chose to remain silent through all the daily attacks, thefts, and murders, it took a prominent figure to be murdered to stun the system and our people to take notice. Yet, what unfolded was a greater shock and sheer mockery of the policing and legal system in the state, but it is best left to the mainstream media to unravel further. It couldnt have come at a worse time, but we also won the award for the state with the best law and order. Kudos to our people for staying sane and calm, even while being under fear and worry. For it is the people who have earned it, not the government, and they earned it despite the law and order system of the state.

Why do we hate to listen to the truthful statements and honest expressions? Why do we let ourselves be treated like donkeys? Will we always like to live in this imaginary bubble, bloated by ego and denial? Will we always need to pay a price for telling the truth or even listening to it? Will we also need voices from the grave in the end to wake up? It appears so.

Read more!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Kerala This Week, Ver 4.01, 2009

Imagine this. If you look at most of the project announcements in Kerala, you can see a pattern. First build a hype around a project (of course, most of them are genuine and much needed for the state to progress) and then assign a consultant to study the feasibility for a few hundred crores. Then form an governmental agency, which sounds like FINKLE, KINRA, TINKA, DINKA, KELTA, ALKEL, VIZ, BIZ, KRIPPLE, etc., to co-ordinate the project with the contracting companies. The agency in all likelihood is powered by a politician and includes his pals in the board, usually with a dummy to head it. The agency then issues a few press releases and ads on the project along with tenders.

A site of several hundred acres is identified for the project (despite the fact that there is not enough land in Kerala!!). What we dont know is that before the site is announced publicly, the friends and benamis buy the land in and around all these areas. Afterwards the project is announced and a company is awarded the contract, possibly after a few rounds of kickbacks. The prices of the land around the site gets inflated, but people think it is a lottery, and buy the land thinking that once the project materializes, the land will be an asset for them. The project then gets tangled in several legal, political, and environmental messes since nobody cares about it anymore.

Some years ago, it was announced with much hoohaa, with our ministers and local leaders rampaging to get in front of the camera, that the 35th national games will be held in Trivandrum. Hundreds of crores of rupees were announced as "funds" to prepare for the cities (mainly the capital city) and towns for the event. A few weeks ago, the consultants who came for evaluating the states preparedness got a taste of the state of our state. A consultant fell from the roof of the capital's prized indoor stadium and died instantly while inspecting it. As for the other stadiums, most of them are used for party meetings and sangams, which is the biggest activity in our state. But that doesnt stop our comedians from announcing bigger dreams and siphoning off more funds.

When our present rulers came into power, the first thing they did was release hundreds of friendly murderers, goons and thieves from jails all over the state. Now that they have done their job well and people are literally looted and beaten up, and the next elections are coming soon, the de-nerved (right from the spine) police has been asked to bring them back home, as if to show they have done such a wonderful job of it all. Little wonder then if the jails are saying "We are Full". But little do they know that we know who the real thieves are. Isnt that why our people coined the phrase "kallan kappalil" (translates almost into "thieves are in power in Kerala").

So let us not even get into the scams and prosecution imbroglios, fast spreading dengue/ chikungunya/ flu fevers in Kerala, and other such routine stuff. More interesting was to note that the monsoon has hit Kerala, and to coincide with it, the KSEB started maintenance work of its power generators in Idukki, the PWD and road authorities announced road repair and new road works, the inland waterway committee is meeting (not sure for what), the union leaders have agreed to let farmers use machines to reap whats left of the harvest, temporarily (until the floods pass and the next harvest) and someone said theres an airstrip being considered in munnar, kottayam, kollam, thrissur, wayanad, and tiruvalla. All international.

Let us see what happens after the rain.

Read more!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

India Awakening

The election results today are probably a sign of things to come. It shows that the nearly 10 crore first time voters are wiser and more sensible than their older citizens. That young India is not bothered about religion and creed, but security and safety. They are not worried about caste and community, but more about education and opportunities. And with the number of young and educated voters set to increase for the next few decades, its obvious that the closing bell has started to ring for the politicians who have so far tried to divide the nation and loot us. Kudos to the winners and may God bless our new leaders with enough sense, health, and strength to take us forward as a nation! India first!

Special congrats to Shashi Tharoor who won from Trivandrum with a margin of nearly one lakh votes!
Read more!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

101 Reasons to Get "Married Off" in Kerala

1. Your "concerned" neighbour reminds your parents that you are laughing too often of late.

2. Your "loving" relatives remind your parents that you are an obligation to them and they are getting old. In malayalam, they term it something like "she is filling the house".

3. Random people, whom you dont even know, notice that you are happy and "grown as big as an adult", and they bitch about you since they cannot tolerate your youthful bliss.

4. You are beginning to lose hair (who wouldnt with all this stress!) and all the coconut oil isnt helping.

5. You finished graduating. And then did two Masters degrees. And then did a Ph.D. And theres nothing more to study.

6. Your dream is the US, but they ain't giving you the darn H-1B visa.

7. You want to get out of Kerala.

8. You dont want to come back to Kerala.

9. Your relatives in North America are planning to visit Kerala after 5 years, and they want to club it with your wedding so that they dont have to come in between for a while.

10. Your relative, whom you are meeting for the first time since childhood, says he wants to eat a meal ("oonu").

11. You are earning more than what you need to lead a frugal life, and not everybody likes that.

12. You are drinking too much, and on the verge of becoming an alcoholic.

13. You are becoming abusive, and they decided to get you a homely wife.

14. You need someone to clean up the flat, and they decided to get you a girl from the ancient family.

15. Someone needs an uterus and a monthly supply of eggs (human kind).

16. Your family thinks it is time to reproduce.

17. You are too happy, and they think only a wife can "fix" you.

18. You failed 5 times consecutively in college, and now marriage seems to be the best solution.

19. Your family friend knows you are rich and would like to eat a share of the pie.

20. You wanted to explore the world, but theres no way they would let you go alone.

21. You wanted to study further, but they said you need to marry first.

22. Your room is too messy.

23. Your pile of unwashed clothes is getting bigger..and bigger.

24. You are getting really good in your career, and someone wanted to put an end to it.

25. You were lured by the wedding saree shop ad.

26. Your family got amazed by all the gold jewelry wedding designs.

27. Your local gold store is offering a BMW with every purchase of gold worth a lakh.

28. Your classmate married and is now pregnant.

29. The hartals are too many, and the only way to get through them these days is a marriage.

30. You are a doctor, and they feel you need another doctor to help you out.

31. You are a doctor and they thought a nurse will complete your clinic.

32. You were ready to be bought (or sold) for a price.


The list could go on, but would one need more reasons in Kerala? If you have pet peeve though, please feel free to share it!

Read more!

Friday, April 10, 2009

When We Speak in Manglish..

Scene from class VIII of a school in Kerala

Teacher: Who can tell me the name of Gandhi's son?
Students go into a hush.
Only one hand goes up after a while.
Student: Dineshan
Teacher: What??? Dineshan who?
Student: Yes, madam, Dineshan. You dont know that also?
Teacher (nearly enraged): Who taught you this nonsense
Student: It is not nonsense madam. We were taught this since junior school
Teacher: Taught what?
Student: Gandhiji is the father of di-neshan.

Although the above is just a really funny joke passed on by a friend as an SMS, it very aptly highlights a big problem we have in Kerala.

As much as the hypocrites talk about clinging on to tradition, we also try to catch up on English, which is obviously very essential in this day and age. So it really doesnt matter what the hypocrites say and think. But unfortunately, their influence force enough people try to mix up the two languages, instead of learning both separately and clearly, and what we get is Manglish. And add to it the substandard, new-age filmy jokers and mimicry artistes who try hard to make people laugh by using abuse, twisted words, slang, and accentuated dialects. Children actually even end up picking up these distortions, and imitating cheesy lines as they get applauded for it.

Manglish is the polluted, adulterated, and confusing version of language when you mix up Malayalam and English badly. It is what gives malayalis that infamous "malayali accent", which is now so bad that it affects job prospects and even relationships, and terrible inferiority complex while talking to fluent English speakers.

This is an issue our teachers, schools, universities and boards need to give great attention to so that our children and the new generation come out confident and ready to take on the world. May sound like a silly little non-issue, but quite clearly, this is definitely an issue that we need to work on in our schools.

Happy Easter folks!

Read more!

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Where the Police is Paralyzed..Goon's Own Country

Last month, the Kerala High Court cornered the Kerala Government in view of the pathetic law and order situation in the state, and the politically influenced paralysis of the policing system. Of course, the political clowns went on to accuse and abuse the judiciary for coming to the rescue of the hapless citizens.

Every day our newspapers are filled with news about thefts, robberies, attempted murders, acts of rage, and killings, all backed by the political parties waiting to bail them out. And we also hear how the government is dismissing criminal proceedings against their party workers, releasing criminals with political backing from jails, and such other nasty things, instead of protecting the people.

Today's paper had a very interesting news piece, which aptly portrays the pathetic situation in the state. So shameful! Read on, and think of the rut we are in. And please vote for the upcoming elections, and every other election. Jaago re!


Nine hurt in goonda attack

Express News Service First Published : 07 Apr 2009 07:46:58 AM IST
Last Updated : 07 Apr 2009 11:22:56 AM IST

THIRUVANANTHAPURAM: Six police personel and three members of a family was injured at a goonda attack at Madhavapuram near Veli on Monday night.

The incident occurred when a goonda gang attacked the house of one Sunil alleging that he was a police informer. Sunil and his parents were injured in the attack.

Following this, local police informed the Police control room who handed over the message to Veliyathura police. The goonda gang resorted to stone throwing when the police team reached the spot. The attack was carried out by a gang led by goonda leader Ani alias Swarnapallan Ani.

Veliyathura SI K.J. Jonson, Probation SI Mohammed Khan, and constables Valsalan, Albert, Rajan and Sanal were injured in the attack. They have been admitted to the General Hospital.


Read more!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Capital Punishment

When it comes to being DOC, the capital city goes all the way to make sure there is no other contender. From dirty, violent politics to crude behavior, the city has gained a notorious name for itself, which refuses to be shaken off by the decent minority folks living in the city, who actually love the place (although maybe not really the people who co-inhabitate it!). The grapevine has it that things have sunk to such an extent that girls are now reluctant to marry guys from the city. And that the women in the city are praying for some reason to leave the place. So lets take a tour of the city and find out what is wrong with this beautiful city.

The biggest, and most obvious, problem is that it looks almost like all the criminals and goons of the malayali world have moved to the city to do what they do best, under the pretext of politics. As a result, the number of scumbags, thieves, and rowdies outnumber the civil and law abiding citizens, and the amount of negativity in the air is tremendous and depressing.

The situation is so bad that even the police force is now stunted and weakened, thanks to our "politicians" who support these criminals. So any murderer and thief, who has a local committee member or khadi-clad party worker to appear for his sake in front of the cops, has an assured escape - without any FIR or records. Over the years, this trend has become so big that today police stations are attacked and police are beaten up in case they dare to utter anything related to the word justice or law.

This politician-criminal nexus has spilt over to the streets as well, and the average guy you see in the city is emboldened by a similar notion. That results in a heightened level of aggression. You dare not challenge a roughian on the road, violating traffic rules and putting your and every other persons life in danger. Lest he abuses you and is ready to even slap the odd traffic cop who inadvertently is still in the scene. So dont get overtly upset by lane-jumping motorists, or the majority of drivers who park their vehicles wherever they want, even if it is the middle of the road, or the rampaging KSRTC driver (remember he is wearing khaki too), or the saffron-flag flaunting autorickshaw guy (beware!). No questions to be asked.

The spill doesnt end there. It has been there long enough to rot the education system in the capital, with even schools now being transformed to power hubs of party politics, with all the student wings of these parties forming their youth outfit crap. There is no focus on the education or the syllabus. The state board itself is rotting, and no match to CBSE or ICSE.

As a result, there is a growing number of unemployed youth since majority of these students ultimately find it difficult to match up to the quality and standards of students from other cities and states. The smarter ones leave the state itself for higher education, and usually never want to return. But this is exactly the need of the politicians, so that they have a greater workforce, ready to throw stones and chant slogans.

Which then leads to the stunted growth of the city and state since no industry or even agriculture thrives under these circumstances, with no constructive human workforce or healthy environment. The odd factory or institution that still manages to brave the government red tape and unfavorable state of affairs ultimately faces the challenges of a corrupt system and political parties out to suck their blood in the name of funds and crazy systems such as "nokku kooli".

Ultimately the city is left behind with nothing really, except a lot of ugly posters, frightful arches, and unsightly flexboards of politicians and parties (apparently the city corporation has supposedly banned all these, but obviously lost their balls since its their own party and leaders flouting the law) and daily demonstrations and marches. Of course, there is the 10 meter underpass and the widest road in the city (since decades, which is just a 4 lane road of around 2kilometers), and the Vizhinjam port (under discussion and "study" since 1974), the first technopark since 1994 (the first one with labour union as well, marking its own path to downfall), an international airport (only namesake, at least, so far), and many such bloated images to hide under

Well, it is time to make it known that the people of the city dont really care about all the trash and stink our politicians (what undignified clowns, really!) and their bloody workers are so obsessed with. We just want a clean and civil city which allows us to work in peace, earn our livelihood, educate our children for a better tomorrow, and enjoy the peace and beauty God has given us.

Let us make sure we vote. And make sure we vote only for the educated, civilized, dignified and competent people, who would really want to imrpove the state. If we dont have them, let the educated people get ready to enter politics and take reigns.

Read more!

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Home-Made Kasabs and Their Sponsors

When I see our present day politicians and their parties (this includes the ones that claim to be politicians and parties as well!) who force their distorted ideologies and mindless policies in order to further their own selfish interests, I try and analyze how different they are from terrorists and criminals. Unfortunately, I do not see any difference, except for the number of people killed. But sooner or later, I doubt even that difference will exist.

If India got together to blame and isolate politicians when the Mumbai attacks happened in Novermber 2008, it is very evident today that it is time that we all got together to blame them for terror-mongering organizations under political masks and their every day crimes, whether it is SIMI, IM, JUD, LTTE, RUF, VHB, SRS, BD, RSSs, DFI, AbVP, KsU, MKP, LMP, or any other outfit that takes law into their hands or adopts violence, irrespective of the party, ideology or religion.

Almost every day now we hear something like the SRS attacking women in Mangalore, Haryana Police thrashing a woman, BD monkeys chasing siblings, coffee shops and customers being attacked in Trivandrum, and cops being thrashed all over Kerala. The common factor here is the elected government failing to be responsible and respect the constitution, but instead becoming operators of legal machineries hijacked for the sake of power, crime, illegal activities, and injustice.

Karnataka is a typical example of what is in store for us if this political frenzy based on party, religion and community continues. Imagine a scum-bag claiming to be the general secretary of an prganization full of goondas coming in front of national television to justify their activities and warning that they will continue their criminal conduct. Or an old-gas bag like their president saying they would have done the same even if their sisters went to the pub. Just 2 days ago, a lady from the same outfit claimed that we do not need one day to "love" but we can love all through the year!

Fundamental elements like these bank on the perception that the elected government with shared ideologies will be soft on their activities, however criminal, and assume that they can gain greater support and fame in the process. Unfortunately, the elected government fails to uphold the constitution because of electoral interests and the thirst for power and money. The end result is that the people get polarized further on the basis of religion and community, destroying the very foundation of the nation that is India.

Many years ago, Indian culture included pissing on the road and spitting around, widows jumping into pyres, women were never allowed to wear blouses under their saris, and children getting married off before they finished growing. Over time, as education and exposure to better living increased, we changed. Nobody told us to change or stopped us from improving ourselves. Of course, some of them still prefer to piss and crap around, and it is their wish as long as they do not break law. Similarly, if some of us want to live in a more refined and dignified manner, that should also be allowed. The law and the constitution of India will and should be the only factor that decides the perimeters of our civil existence.

If our states and the country cannot protect us from these terrorists within our country, they should let Kasab and the likes of him be tried in other countries which will have better justice prevailing. Because I do not see any difference between the Pakistani Kasab and our own, home-grown Kasabs pretending to be from various political outfits and organizations in India. Indians will need to come together, irrespective of religion, caste and creed, in order to ensure justice, and protect our liberties and fundamental rights from these home-grown terrorists AND our own governments that support them.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Read more!

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Kerala This Week Ver 3.01, 2008

If you let it rot long enough, the stench will finally get to you. That is a lesson Kerala is learning, slowly, surely, and on a daily basis. The latest example is that - well, its actually today's example - a hardline, loyal party man had to finally call the spade from within his party, a spade, (and another spade, a monkey) giving the PB pre-poll jitters and sending the usually nagging lot to a huddle.

Whether it is due to his well-known rivalry against his arch rival within the party or a prelude to his almost certain exit with the image of a clean leader or actual respect for the constitution, the man stood up to refuse to politicize (and downplay) the charges of corruption levelled by the CBI against the communist party general secretary which includes siphoning off hundreds of crores of rupees in the pretext of getting us elecrticity and even a cancer therapy center. In any case, this single act requires appreciation, and kudos to the man for showing that he has a conscience (perhaps he discovered it a bit too late, or even searches for it selectively), but its something most of the other leaders, irrespective of the camp, appear to have lost forever.

While some of the party folks downplayed the corruption charges, most others childishly said its a conspiracy, blaming the central government and oppossition. Sadly, even some of the ministers criticized the CBI and said they will "deal with it politically", rather than legally. This is perhaps the saddest response any state can get, and even more painful is the fact that it reflects the state of Kerala today. If the people holding the highest positions of the government, supposed to uphold the constitution and ensure justice, respond this way, it is not suprising that the people of Kerala get no justice. It should not suprise us then why party workers rampage private and public property without second thought, party goons beat up police publicly, political leaders release criminals from jails by threatening cops. All this while the state rots.

If the UDF were in power today, and if these charges were against a member of the UDF or Congress, then all hell would have broken loose and the LDF party workers would have ensured that the government fell. But fortunately, or unfortunately, the UDF leaders appear to be less violent and are using the situation more as ammunition for the forthcoming elections. And rightfully so.

After hartal tourism and responsible tourism, now its the turn of paddy-field tourism. Students from Virginia, USA, landed in Kerala for a hands-on experience of traditional cultivation in the paddy fields of Kerala. May be a good idea, just in case we need people to work in our farms since all our hard working farmers are on the verge of suicide and the other lot are busy with party work. But if you are a party man and you have crores of money to invest, then we have better options such as entertainment parks, resorts, and even a "health and recreation center". The CPI-M, after "the successful launch of an amusement park in Kannur", under the banner of the Perinthalmanna Co-operative Health and Recreation Centre, is opening a Rs.40 crore center in 6.5 acres of land.

It also looks like the soothsayer's prediction of doomsday is finally nearing. It appears that the global economic crisis is forcing back Keralites from across the world back home, in hordes, even as the great professor is still working on the math, with some good help from the Planning Commission to make the numbers. While the people in Kerala are themselves struggling for even basics like water (the infamous Japan Bank for International Co-operation drinking water project has ensured that theres plenty of water on the roads from broken pipelines, but none for drinking still!), electricity (increasing power tarrifs and incessant power cuts and its not even summer), and making ends meet, wonder what is in store for us in the coming years.

Read more!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

60 years and waiting?

Justice, Liberty, Equality, and Fraternity. Those are the assurances made to every citizen of India by our forefathers and founders of the nation, people who fought and gave their lives for us. But as we celebrate the 60th Republic Day, it is also time for introspection. How far (or farther) away are we from the above founding principles this day?

While the spirit of being Indian and nationalistic pride is very high within our bloods, it very often takes great calamity, grief, and death to unite us (apart from the occasional cricket matches, perhaps!). But most other times we are a complacent lot, waiting to be shred apart and pitted against each other by our own selfish political lot, who care for nothing but their power and might. Religion, caste, communal thoughts are all played at will by these vultures who are the enemies within our nation.

Unfortunately, we are increasingly seeing how we are failing as a state to uphold the constitution and the spirit of the preamble, as we call it as patriotic Indians. Strong words to use, but that is exactly where we stand when we do not protect our citizens, their rights and property. We are forgetting to "preserve, protect, and uphold" the constitution of India.

Whether it is a 1000 wrongdoers on one side and one single citizen with the law on his side, the state, its servants, judiciary, and the people collectively have to protect and uphold the rights of the latter, leaving no stone unturned or might unused to ensure justice. That is the very basic fabric of holding together a nation and its people.

This is where cunning politicians and evil religious leaders play their cards with a single focused goal of, shall we call it, "Divide and Loot". Lakhs of political workers, irrespective of the party, or religious followers, irrespective of the faith, may be influenced (or even misguided) by the divisive forces who have their own agenda. But the judiciary, elected government, and the government machinery (that includes the police, secretariat, and every official) must work free from this influence and uphold the constitution and the right of every citizen. Whether it is the Congress, Communist, Samajwadi, Janatha Party, or Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Jain, and Buddhist, we are all bound together by the constitution and the sense of being part of a nation.

For our leaders and party workers, many of whom will not even know (or may have forgotten) about the preamble, here is a reminder:

“ WE, THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, having solemnly resolved to constitute India into a SOVEREIGN, SOCIALIST, SECULAR, DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC and to secure to all its citizens:

JUSTICE, social, economic and political;

LIBERTY of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship;

EQUALITY of status and of opportunity;

and to promote among them all

FRATERNITY assuring the dignity of the individual and the unity and integrity of the Nation;

IN OUR CONSTITUENT ASSEMBLY this twenty-sixth day of November, 1949, do HEREBY
ADOPT, ENACT AND GIVE TO OURSELVES THIS CONSTITUTION.”


When will we understand that Democracy does not give the right to the majority to mete out injustice to the minority, even if its a hundred people versus a single person. Socialist does not mean that an irresponsible lazy group who refuse to work for a living can loot or rob the person who works and earns for himself and his family. Secular means every man has the right and freedom to believe, or not believe, in any faith or God of his choice. Republic means that any person who stands for election must realize he or she is meant to work for the people and build the nation, and not the self or party.

We need leaders that understand that a thousand party workers do not have the right to destroy government or private property, irrespective of the cause and emotion. The police and government are maintained by the tax-payer to protect and serve the people, and not as an instrument for the elected representatives. We need judiciary that appreciates that lakhs of supporters do not absolve or justify the wrongdoings or crimes of a political leader. We need armies and police that know millions of believers behind a religious leader does not give anyone the right to attack another faith, even if it is just one man.

Let us vow in pride of being an Indian first, and isolate and shun everything and everybody who undermines this sense of unity and partiotism.

Indian First!

Happy Republic Day!

Read more!

Saturday, January 17, 2009

In Kerala, its Better Jobless Than Ever!

A guy friend told me something very interesting recently. If you live in Kerala, its better to be one of the following, if not all: fat, dark, ugly faced or wearing a permanent scowl, shabbily dressed (or in a mundu folded up above your knees), have a criminal look, or most preferably, be jobless. Although I found it funny at that moment, over a period of time, I realized what made him come up with such a harshly truthful statement.

A couple of months ago, while I was waiting at a traffic signal, which clearly had the red light on it, two guys approached my car from behind and started honking and asking me to go (probably since there was not much traffic at the junction in any case). When I refused and pointed to the red light on the signal, the guys started abusing me. Although I didnt bother and instead told them to buzz off, it was clear how the goonda looking guys with their blonde-streaked hair, with golden bracelets along with saffron and black ties on their wrists, who apparently form the "poor and downtrodden" of Kerala, would have intimidated most of the rich and selfish people (since they own cars) in Kerala.

Around a month ago, a KSRTC bus rushing towards my car from behind, with no intention of slowing down despite it being a junction, scraped a good portion of my car's right doors. And when he had no intention of stopping, I overtook and made him stop very close to the junction. The cop who was standing there and witnessing the whole scene came and shouted at me for obstructing traffic and asked me to "take my car and go". The seemingly inebriated driver (I could sense the stink of alcohol around him, but wait, he is the poor common man of Kerala, lets salute him first) just looked at me below from his seat in the bus, with an evil look and a bit of pity. The passengers and the people who joined around started murmuring "onnum patteellello" "kondu poda" and other expressions of mallu concern, hinting at me to get lost. Probably they would have been a little more sensitive had I died or had a broken arm and was bleeding profusely, I hope.

A friend who runs a hotel (dont worry, not a star hotel, but just an ordinary restaurant serving "meals") was complaining about how he was harassed every day by different authorities (all affiliated to the mighty poor-man's group), right from the corporation health inspectors, to pollution board, and water authority, who would not go away unless they were bribed. Interestingly, bang opposite him was a petty shop serving food who flouted every law and was even obstructing the traffic, but was not bothered by any officer. He also mentioned that the petty shopwala was also a strong political supporter of a certain party, whereas he had no particular political affiliation, but started this hotel from the money he saved as a worker, along with a bank loan.

I have heard mallu men, and even some women, openly proclaim that women should not walk around in anything other than clothing that covers their entire body (probably would have been better off with a burkah). Otherwise dont blame the men if they get groped or molested or raped, since those women "asked for it". Women on the other hand are scared to dress up or wear clothes that they like, lest they displease the malayali macho man with stinking armpits and folded lungis (from the mighty, powerful common-man's group), waiting for them. I wonder if our women are pushed to the extreme of even overeating and slothing with an intention of getting ugly and fat thinking that they will be safer. Ofcourse, they are mistaken.

If you are dressed properly and step outside, you are looked down upon, usually by another mallu who probably earns more than you, but purely out of jealousy. At the clubs and so called social gatherings, if you are a christian, the trick is to incite the people around by dividing them as hindus and muslims, and to pass snideful comments. If you are a so-called ezhava, then its the nair and varma tag that is played to isolate you. Yes, this is also done so that the common man's rights and privileges can be protected!

But most importantly, if you have a job and work hard to earn your living, you will likely be isolated by the unemployed and jobless complaining that you snatched their opportunity (no matter that there is still plenty of opportunity, but they prefer to remain jobless and take the privileges that come with it). The thieves and criminals will rob you and harass you. The politicians and their party workers will fleece and threaten you till you contribute to their "fight for the poor". The government will definitely make sure all the rules are laid down (only for you) to make you suffer unless you "oil the system" generously, to the extent that you end up running away from the state when you realize its not worth risking your life and health.

Alright, lets not discuss all this publicly, but instead call for investments and talk about mega projects, and ofcourse, hold up our 100% literacy tag. Shhh..lets hide that god-darn report that says Pondichery overtook us on the education index (but not on 100% literacy, haha!!). Lets join the powerful and mighty group of the poor and downtrodden of Kerala, and then we also wont have to worry about our work and livelihood.

Read more!

Terms of Use and Disclaimer