101 Reasons to Get "Married Off" in Kerala

1. Your "concerned" neighbour reminds your parents that you are laughing too often of late.

2. Your "loving" relatives remind your parents that you are an obligation to them and they are getting old. In malayalam, they term it something like "she is filling the house".

3. Random people, whom you dont even know, notice that you are happy and "grown as big as an adult", and they bitch about you since they cannot tolerate your youthful bliss.

4. You are beginning to lose hair (who wouldnt with all this stress!) and all the coconut oil isnt helping.

5. You finished graduating. And then did two Masters degrees. And then did a Ph.D. And theres nothing more to study.

6. Your dream is the US, but they ain't giving you the darn H-1B visa.

7. You want to get out of Kerala.

8. You dont want to come back to Kerala.

9. Your relatives in North America are planning to visit Kerala after 5 years, and they want to club it with your wedding so that they dont have to come in between for a while.

10. Your relative, whom you are meeting for the first time since childhood, says he wants to eat a meal ("oonu").

11. You are earning more than what you need to lead a frugal life, and not everybody likes that.

12. You are drinking too much, and on the verge of becoming an alcoholic.

13. You are becoming abusive, and they decided to get you a homely wife.

14. You need someone to clean up the flat, and they decided to get you a girl from the ancient family.

15. Someone needs an uterus and a monthly supply of eggs (human kind).

16. Your family thinks it is time to reproduce.

17. You are too happy, and they think only a wife can "fix" you.

18. You failed 5 times consecutively in college, and now marriage seems to be the best solution.

19. Your family friend knows you are rich and would like to eat a share of the pie.

20. You wanted to explore the world, but theres no way they would let you go alone.

21. You wanted to study further, but they said you need to marry first.

22. Your room is too messy.

23. Your pile of unwashed clothes is getting bigger..and bigger.

24. You are getting really good in your career, and someone wanted to put an end to it.

25. You were lured by the wedding saree shop ad.

26. Your family got amazed by all the gold jewelry wedding designs.

27. Your local gold store is offering a BMW with every purchase of gold worth a lakh.

28. Your classmate married and is now pregnant.

29. The hartals are too many, and the only way to get through them these days is a marriage.

30. You are a doctor, and they feel you need another doctor to help you out.

31. You are a doctor and they thought a nurse will complete your clinic.

32. You were ready to be bought (or sold) for a price.


The list could go on, but would one need more reasons in Kerala? If you have pet peeve though, please feel free to share it!

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