Come Fly With Me (Updated with Part II)

Part II

Thanks to this article, I got inspired to complete the second part of this post - Part I is at the end of Part II.

While in the air, you observe the most outstanding differences between Indian and Jet Airways.

I always considered Indian to be a very concerned airline, for many reasons. One of the main reasons is that they always believe in "safety first". I have seen ,at more than one instance, the airhostess literally shouting at passengers for not wearing their seat-belts when the sign is on. This is quite a "healthy" practice, and passengers cannot really complain.

Talking about health, again here Indian scores over Jet. At Indian, they believe in a healthy diet. So they do not give you the option of a Veg or Non Veg meal, but insist you have a Veg meal. Its healthy after all and reduces your cholesterol, thereby minimizing the chances of a heart attack - which you have all the chances of experiencing on-board their flights. Last I heard, they were considering a fruitarian meal. It is also funny how during an Indian flight, whether it is a 40 minute flight or a 4 hour one, there is always a scramble to clear the trays just before landing. You have the hostesses screaming "sir, gimme the tray, we are about to land!!" or "m'am if you dont give the tray now you are gonna keep it on your lap and land!!"

Anyway, it is only during landing that you realise why Indian has chosen its tag-line. Landing is always a very uncertain proposition in an Indian flight. I would suggest you carefully listen to the "assuring" noises of the landing gear and wheels locking-in from around 15 mintues before you destination. If you do not hear these noises and the loud thud of the wheels locking, pray hard. If you are lucky, then the landing gear works fine and you are all set to land. Else you might have "unexpected" circling around the airport, with technical guys and engineers trying to push out the gear or something. Okay this doesn't happen too often, but I know atleast 3 or 4 such incidents in the last 10 years or so.

Once the gear is down, you have the plane descending, but swaying side to side.. as though the pilot is unsure which runway to land on..Finally if you have prayed hard enough, the plane lands on a runway and not on a field. And always be aware that more than 50% of the Indian airlines flights land twice which means that after the first touch-down the flight usually bumps off and touches down once more. I guess its because the shock absorbers are excellent. After touch down you again experience great turbulence with the pilot trying to keep the aircraft on the tarred portion of the airfield. I am proud to say that 95 out of 100 times they manage to do it. God be with you, if you are in one of the 5 planes who do not stay on the runway. As you celebrate your landing, smile in relief and kiss your co-passenger, you remember the tag-line for Indian Airlines and make sense of it all... "Let your heart fly". I am sure it truly did, especially during landing. 10 on 10 for their tag-line!

Well, to cut the long story short, I feel Jet has struggled and worked hard to give their tag-line "Joy of Flying" a lot of meaning. You notice that at every step their customers are taken care of, and that too in courteous and respectable manners. It is no wonder then during a survey, out of 10,000 customers, only 9 people responded with minor negative comments giving a satisfaction rate of 99.99% for Jet Airways. Now that is one company I have learnt to respect. And I hope they maintain the same standards and principles forever.



Part I

Around two weeks ago, I missed my Jet Airway's flight because I managed to reach the airport only 10 minutes before departure by which time they had seated someone else instead of me, closed the boarding gates and started warming the engines as well. The lady at the ticketing counter apologised and said "Sorry sir, we were overbooked today and you won't be able to fly with us, but that I can put you on Air Deccan". Suddenly I felt light headed, as though I was losing balance, people around me blurred, my head spun..I saw oxygen masks dropping, and I thought I heard someone shout "may day!".
"No miss, I will take your flight tomorrow" I said recovering from the shock.
She smiled and scribbled something on my ticket and asked me to come the next day, and assured me I will fly tomorrow.

The next day I reached an hour early, not wanting to risk another shock treatment. I was promptly greeted at the entrance by the Jet Airway's Airport manager who escorted me to the check-in counter, apologising profusely despite my assurance it was entirely my fault. He checked me in through the priority counter, upgraded me to first class for free and put a fluorescent "priority" tag on all my luggages. I was pretty sure if I gave him anything less than a big smile and incessant thank yous, he woulda placed another tag on me as well! Anyway I boarded the plane all pampered..and that inspired me to complete this post, which I had left half way long time ago.

Now I have always wondered how and why airliners choose their tag-lines. I figured most of them out except for Sahara Airlines, which said "emotionally yours"!! I mean I have felt sad for them at times, but never had the luck to fly with someone so sentimental. Air Deccan started off the transformation of the Indian aviation industry with its "Simplifly" planes, but it didnt take long for them to realise it wasnt that simple. As much as I remember in terror their first flight, which caught fire while taxi-ing on the runway, I really appreciate the Captain and his team for the guts to single-handedly open up the skies for the common man. I also remember the other "also flew's" like Modiluft, East West, Damania and others who couldn't live up to what it takes.

So now we have Jet Airway's which is now comparable to our own Indian (Airlines) in size and scale of operations, and one cannot help wonder what differentiates this public vs private thingie everybody talks about, as well as what it takes to be a good and respected airline.

The difference actually begins at the time you begin booking your ticket, but I will not get into that assuming that you do it through your travel agent and you are not adventurous enough to do it yourself, or try something like e-ticketing! If you are, I am sure you know its another story altogether.

Anyway, if you manage to get to the airport on time you will begin to appreciate the horrors, and it is usually "the earlier, the worse". Indian airports also require a separate post altogether, if not a series, and we shall refrain from getting excited and talking about the IAAI. At the airport you will find a stark contrast between the Jet vs Indian counters. Jet is always manned by neatly dressed staff carrying wireless sets to communicate with eachother, always smiling and receptive. But Indian is always a commotion, with the staff screaming at eachother, from one corner of the airport to the other. Right from the time you have arrived to check-in, to baggage allowance, to security check, Indian is always trying to give you a "No" for answer.

"No saar, you have come 5 minutes late, someone else has been given your seat so please pay 50% of the fare"

"No no no..impossible sir, you are carrying 21 kilos while the limit is just 20 kilos. Please open your bag and lets see what I can take"

"Please come back after 10 minutes, you canNOt do security check now!"

But ofcourse, all this is for your own safety, so we dont mind.

Phew!! You manage to make it past the security check and you await boarding call. This is the one time you really dont make out any difference whichever airline you fly. You just wait. And irrespective of the airline, you get to see all the pilots, captains and (ehemm!!) hostesses parade by. There is hardly anything else you can do in any of our airports, and I dont have the faintest idea why anyone with even an iota of sense would oppose airport privatisation.

And then they wake you up with that call for boarding. There is a slight difference in the language, accent and clarity of speech but thats pardonable and usually not too evident when it all comes out through the mike and speakers of IAAI. Now the boarding call at Indian literally means another havoc at the gate. You have over 100 passengers suddenly going into frenzy and rioting to form a line! And for some reason, if one of them lost a place in the line its enough to set off a mini-battle! It dawned upon me suddenly why they say Indian Airlines is still a Crowd Puller! Jet again in contrast, first boards the front section of the flight, then the mid and only then the third section.

8 out of 10 times, I have walked in the sun to an Indian Airlines plane to board, while 10 out of 10 times I have been driven in a bus to the Jet aircraft.

Only 2 out of 10 times have I been greeted with a smile while boarding an Indian (despite me making an effort to smile and wish), while 10 out of 10 times on a Jet airline I have been greeted and welcomed aboard. The two times they did supposedly say "welcome" and "namaskar" on Indian to me, they were looking at someone else or had their backs towards me. But I have to admit there was this young lady on Indian who was one of the most well behaved hostesses I have ever met. But I dont see her these days, so she has probably quit or been poached.

Now that we are on-board Indian, we are seated (literally!!) by a stern looking grumpy 45 year old Kokila at the forward section, 28 year old harassed and unhappy looking Sweta at the first class and 54 year old Matilda who works at the rear and just gives everyone a glance from back there. All three have "dont mess with me" written allover their faces! They double up as deterrent for any hijacks and unruly behaviour. At the same time, on board Jet there is Melissa, Shreya and Tina, all three in their early 20 somethings, to welcome you on-board with a smile, hello and "can I take your bag, sir?"". Oh! I forgot to say, Tina is apparently Matilda's second daughter.

Soon you are served coffey bites on Indian, which most of our Indians stow away by the dozen into their pockets, while on Jet you are given a warm face towel and a welcome fresh lime drink. While you are being served, you get generous doses of "sit!!!" "put your seatbelts!!!" and "no!!" from Indian hostesses, while the Jet staff always prefix a "please" or "kindly" and most of the times speak in full sentences.

Jet: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is Tina and I'm your chief flight attendant. On behalf of Captain Siddharth and the entire crew, I would like to welcome you aboard Jet Airlines flight JWXXX, from XXX to XXX. Our flight time will be of 2 hours and 15 minutes....... We advise you that as of this moment, any electronic equipment must be please turned off. Thank you."

Indian: " "Ladies and gentlemen, On behalf of Captain Kusni (????!!) and the Asst in Command (long pause while she finds out the name) Karthik, I would like to welcome you aboard Indian Airlines flight ICXXX, from XXX to XXX. We apologise for the delay and it is due to the late arrival of this aircraft from its previous sector (coughs and clears her throat). Switch of any electronic equipment you have."

Jet: "Ladies and gentlemen, we have just been cleared for take-off. Cabin Crew, please be seated and prepare for take-off."

Indian: "Crew..pre (static) ga ba la...takeoffff"

Of late, there is a serious concern that I have while on-board Indian. They now say "keep your windows up for safe landing and take off" !!!!?!?!??!?! I have heard stories(and even experienced once) of wheels falling off Indian Airlines flights and engines catching fire. Is this an official warning that such instances are possible any time and it is for the responsible passenger to spot these?? So keep an eye or two!

Anyway, if you are lucky enough you are off the bumpy asphalted runway on time, if not it might take upto 1 hour or more and at times a few skid offs.

But it is not until you are up in the air ,that you begin to realise the true differences between Indian and Jet Airways! But then theres no escape!

To be continued...