Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Kerala This Week Ver 2.04, 2008

A very ardent fan of this blog wished us all Onam in a very funny but really brilliant manner "sHAPPYl pONAM". But nothing could have been so close to the truth. Mallu brethren gulped down Rs.250 crores worth of alcohol during the week of fun, frolic, and celebration, before getting on with their routine eve-teasing, scuffles, pick-pocketing, and groping.

I personally was witness to the antics of the inebriated average malayali scum-bags. I ran into several drunk motorists creating havoc on the roads, bikers racing with their stands scraping the road to create sparks and scare other motorists, third-rate punks hurling abuse at women. The list is endless. Sadly, I could not the see the Onam spirit on the streets that I have seen as a child. I could barely see families enjoying themselves on the roads. Most people I talked to said it was not safe these days, and all of them preferred to stay indoors and "enjoy the peace".

Ironicaly, earlier this week, Kerala won the IBN channel sponsored Diamond State Awards title for infrastructure, womens' empowerment, health services and education system. Come to think of it, all the above are taking a big toll in Kerala and those are the very sectors worst affected in Kerala over the last decade or so. I guess the jury had very little to choose from, and were left between the devil and the deep sea.

After fighting for the Vizhinjam port for over 2 decades and trying to hog praises, now that the project is approved, the politicians are now trying to oppose the project saying that the land acquistion is illegal and will be resisted at all cost. I guess the uneducated scums thought that a port for ships would come up on the sea and will not need any land. Talk about 100% literacy!

There is so much more to report from little ol' Kerala. But I decided to cut it short since I have a very interesting question about Keralites for our readers. You can post your answer as a comment. Lets see how many of you know our land and people well enough to get it right.

Where is the only place in the world that a malayali will stand in a queue?
(Oops..since most malayalis will not know what a queue means - queue is a line of waiting people)


vinukv said... prizes for guessing this..there is only one place...Kerala State Beverage Outlet and where else...

Kenney Jacob said...

have you ever thought why people are so obedient infront of the civil supplies counter ? What makes them change so fast ?

silverine said...

Outside a liqor shaap where else! :) This is perhaps the only Kerala blog which has its feet firmly on the ground. What you have said here is so true. I know several families who didn't ( and wont) go to Kerala for Onam, because it is safer here besides they felt that they could celebrate a more decent Onam here. The less said the better. Sigh!

Jackson said...

i guess maveli thampuran has stopped visiting kerala.. i don't blame him, since the people have so many good movies on tv to replace him.. and so many drinks to partake in.. i doubt he'll be missed..

Anonymous said...

If you look at Kerala society as a whole, it’s going though a great transformation.
The malayalee culture is under attack like never before. I don’t want to get into the reasons behind it. But there is a serious conspiracy to change the way we celebrate our festivals like Onam and Vishu . Youth in Kerala must take initiative. But unfortunately they are the front runners to make change. If things are like this the great culture, we Malayalee’s have will be in museum soon.

There are people in Kerala who have lot of money coming to their hands though their relatives in Gulf, so they spend like anything because they didn’t know the pain to earn it.

MC said...

@ vinu - 10 points to you!

@ kenney - man! correct answer again! :)

@ silverine - :) i guess everyone knows the answer :| i happened to be in kerala for onam this time. and gosh..what a change from what onam used to be. i mean change itself is not bad, but just wish it was in a better direction.

@ jackson - maveli also please stand in the queue.

@ anonymous - because of the "gulf money" keralites in kerala have become a bunch of lazy bums, ready to be pawns for the slimy politicians, for lack of anything better to do. ofcourse we need change. just that it has to be in the right direction - forward.

The Layman said...

I beg to differ!

Of course, Kerala is changing and it's not the same old "God's own country" anymore.. But it hurts me to see the way in which the blame has been directed at malayalis..

It's one thing to report facts.. But it's another thing to be bad ambassadors of your homeland because of some misconceptions and BROAD generalizations..

I'm not ridiculing the content of the post here... but the way in which some things have been said and the way it has been supported.

"I personally was witness to the ....abuse at women...Sadly, I could not the see the Onam spirit on the streets that I have seen as a child."

Fortunately, I could see the Onam spirit on the streets that I have seen as a child.

I come from Kizhakkumpattukara in Thrissur famous for its 'pulikali' and other onam celebrations. Kizhakkumpattukara especially is famous for its 'kummattikali'.. This year all the youth in my area (including me to a very small extent) got together to have a five day celebration for onam.. There was kummattikali for three consecutive days.. other art forms such as "Thol paava koothu", "theyyam", "sarppa kalam", pandi melam", "mayilattom", "kavadiyattom", "shinkari melam" etc were also special features of our celebrations..

The very people you ridicule..
"There are people in Kerala who have lot of money .... didn’t know the pain to earn it"
spend out of their pockets to make this celebration a reality.

It was a wonderful sight to see the ladies in their traditional sarees coming together to the "panthal" (like the one in yodha - for the padakali song) to watch traditional artists display their awe inspiring skills..

Every one had a "pookkalam" in front of their house..

The pulikali is a bigger event watched by all "thrissur kaarans/kaaris" with pride and joy.. My best friend was a 'puli' this year dancing to the beats of the pulikali for "chembookaavu" desham..

"Most people I talked to said it was not safe these days, and all of them preferred to stay indoors and "enjoy the peace" "..
While this might be true to some extent, it is wrong to make a generalization and portray malayalis as a group of lazy losers/pervert scumbags..

I know many youth from my place volunteering whole heartedly and working sincerely to recreate the memories of onam as we know it..

How many of us do that? Than blame our malayali brothers/sisters or blog about it?

"Where is the only place in the world that a malayali will stand in a queue?"

Maybe this was intended for humour but nothing could be farther from the truth.. As far as I know most malayalis are peace loving people and would rather stand in a queue than budge in like people from some other parts of the country..

About alcohol.. I cannot refute what is mentioned here simply because I don't have enough facts with me.. But I do know that the liquor prices in Kerala are much higher than in many other states.. And therefore if you consider the total consumption it would be comparable with those of other states/metropolitan cities where binge drinking is a status symbol.

Forget all that.. we say our mallu brethren gulped down so much alcohol.. How many of us do not drink ..
I can only remember Jesus' words.."let those of you who have not sinned, throw the first stone".

I'm not glorifying Kerala here.. or malayalis.. But it hurts me when every forum in the net makes fun/criticizes/generalizes the habits of malayalis.
And most of these great criticisms come from people who haven't even stayed in Kerala for the better part of their lives..

I would like to make clear that this outburst is not against the author of this post alone.. it is against all those who have a good time criticizing and blaming Kerala and malayalees..

If you love Kerala so much, come back to Kerala and do something about it..
Recreate the memories of Onam in your place just like the youth in Thrissur are doing..

It shames me to know that no other race has so less self respect for its own motherland..

"Oops..since most malayalis will not know what a queue means - queue is a line of waiting people"..
Was that a joke?
Maybe I'm too sensitive.. but I got hurt.

People who don't go to Kerala fearing safety.. what do I say... well nothing to say...
"ningalude vishwasam ningale rakshikkatte"
But one thing..
"I ran into several... ..punks hurling abuse at women."

What did you do as a malayali? Did you note down the numbers and inform the police? Did you do anything at all?

Or did you complain against the Kerala police for their ineffectiveness?

What have we done as malayalees? For Keralam?

Nikhil Narayanan said...

Adding to what Layman has said:

Kerala,agreed has a high per capita consumption of alcohol.
The reasons is not that Malayalees are remotely related to Bacchus.

Consider the fact that alcohol is sold mostly through Beverages Corporation outlets in Kerala(no "Wine shops" like Bangalore or "permit Rooms")and then through bars.

This makes sure that government has all numbers correct as far as consumption goes.

So unlike some other state which has an unorganized alcohol market(read arrack/toddy/neera and local unbranded),Kerala has IMFL which is sold through a proper channel.

Had country liquor been permitted and openly available in Kerala, an average Malayalee labourer would gulp it down instead of the IMFL he has now.And in that case,his consumption would go undocumented, like in most other states.

There is only an organized channel, not because the government is keen of capturing the sales numbers but to make sure that exchequer gets richer for every bottle sold.

Kerala being a state with almost no urban-rual divide,accesibility is not a problem.So one would travel to a Bev Corp outlet to buy liquor even if its 5km away.

But since availability is a problem with fewer outlets per 1000,one is bound to see long queues in front of Bev Corp outlets.

The social fabric(read religions where drinking is not a taboo)has added to the increase in per capita consumption and also de-taboo-ised drinking amongst other religions.

The hue and cry over crores spent on alcohol during Onam is unwanted as the same volume of liquor would cost much lesser outside the state.

The "Shappy Ponam" message has been floating around since Onam 2007.

Some reference:


Nikhil Narayanan said...

" I know several families who didn't ( and wont) go to Kerala for Onam, because it is safer here besides they felt that they could celebrate a more decent Onam here."
This is the height of generalization.
I know many families who go to Kerala for Onam, come what may.
May be you should grab a Statistics for dummies and learn sampling before reaching such conclusions.

And trust me Onam has not changed much in the past 20 odd years or so. It has only gotten better.


silverine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
silverine said...

@Nikhil: Get into the shoes of a gal Nikhil and then lets talk! You have not faced sexual harassment the way mallu girls have. Why don't you talk to your Malayalee lady colleagues, my main source of information, and then comment!! Yep, I like to get it straight from the horses mouth dear. That way I am at least reassured that my information is authentic. btw you will be surprised at what the ladeez have to say, if they do talk as some things are not the type of stuff you reveal to guys. And I am talking of girls born and bought up and educated in Kerala here. MC has been decent here because the stories I hear are not. Whether it is a comment here or a post on Kerala issues at Think Pad, I get my information first hand always. Yes, some of us do a little bit of research you see. It is laughable to talk about harassment when you haven't faced it yourself or talked to those who have. Besides my comment is directed at MC, not you. Kindly refrain from replying unless I comment on your blog!!

Nikhil Narayanan said...

Sexual Harrasment-not sure how the issue popped into the response to my comment.Agreed, that it is very prevalent in Kerala but may be not as much as in a Delhi (example sake).

Okay,again I tell you that a handfull of Malayalee colleagues should not be the only criterion to tell that Malayalees do not like to go to Kerala for Onam.

Trust me, I had a tough time getting a ticket to Trivandrum. And an RAC 2 took more than 60 days to get confirmed.This instance is anyday a better indicator than a couple of your friends/colleagues.

I have a lot of friends amongst the fairer gender and have heard of instances of "thondal",pichal etc.

Inspite of all these things, Kerala is safe.
Check a recent issue of India Today which says Kerala ranks #1 in terms of law and order.This is inspite of all the drunken revelry that the author(MC) has mentioned.Usually there is a high correlation between the sale of alcohol and crime rates/accidents.

I have NOT mentioned a word related to harrasment in my comments and it was only on the alcoholisation of Kerala and reply to a statement made by you.

I never knew that I am not supposed to chip in or comment on a reader's response.Anyways, I had clearly used @ if that helps.
I am a continuous learner. :)

Have a great Thursday lady!


silverine said...

@Nikhil: I am having a great Thursday already! :)

"" I know several families who didn't ( and wont) go to Kerala for Onam, because it is safer here besides they felt that they could celebrate a more decent Onam here.""

I guess I need to spell it out to you that I meant sexual harassment and eve teasing when I said they wanted a "decent" Onam. And I am going to stand by what I heard from people I know. And my comments are for the blog owner only... always. Period!! have a nice day yourself! :)

Nikhil Narayanan said...

Great. :)
My old Mallu brain could not decipher the implied meaning.
Decent-I went on the alcohol route.

I stick to what I said.
Okay, will brush up my knowledge of comment policies.
No further discussion here(as you said).


The MEANDERthal man said...

WOW! Thanks for the timely information! I'd just booked a ticket to go HOME. Guess I should go cancel it!

I'm sick and tired of people abusing the very group that they belong to just so that they sound better than the rest.

These are the exact same people who probably do not know about the culture or the traditions, the people who cannot name 5 Malayalam poets,the same people who would prefer to go to tourist resorts all over the world but still wouldn't have seen the backwaters of Alapuzha or the serene beauty that is Vagamon.

And the stereotype of mallus drinking - well it is about time we gave it a rest.

Kerala is better off than any other place in India. I'm not denying that it has its share of problems. But then which place doesn't?

And I completely agree with Layman, what right do we have to talk about it, if there is nothing we want to do about it?

MC said...

@ everyone - one of the best quotes that i have ever heard is this: "the biggest obstacle to great is good". so for all those harping on Kerala is the best state in India (there are some aspects we are better and some we are way behind!), time to wake up and start comparing ourselves to states and societies that are better than us. unless you are also another mallu with bloated ego thinking that we are the best! then this blog is not for you. thank you.

@ the layman - good. at least you feel for the state and its condition. this blog is not to broadcast our faults to the world, but to awaken ourselves, our own people. no point keeping silent about it thinking things will change by itself.

and glad you enjoyed your onam.

as for your questions about what i did, yes ofcourse i informed the police myself and made sure the cops arrived at the scene immediately and took some action.

@ nikhil - i dont think Rs.250 crores worth of alcohol in a week is an inflated indicator of the consumption by any means, unless ofcourse everybody in kerala were drinking scotch. and the figure does not account toddy and country liquor.

there may be more families who continue to go to Kerala for Onam than the ones that done, but the important point here is that many have stopped going because they feel its not worth it. and also many people in Kerala dont even step out on the roads during Onam worried about their safety.

@ silverine - absolutely agree with you. its the keralite girl's version that we need, not the guys. ask any keralite girl (and probably most guys) who has lived outside kerala if they want to go back to kerala - chances are they would say no. and its not because they dont love kerala as much as any one of us, but because of the isolation, lack of freedom, and abuse. and like you, i also know this first hand.

for guys as long as they get their evening dose of alcohol, everythings fine. but thats not the case with women who want their share of freedom and independence. i mean its pitiful that most men in kerala still cant fathom a girl having freedom and being independent. thats the bottomline.

interestingly, most girls dont even want to marry guys who live in Kerala anymore :)

@ nikhil - taking 60 days for your RAC confirmation is an indicator of how many Keralites are living outside Kerala for education and earning a livelihood. the Onam vacation is a time to get back with their families. it does not have any relation to the spirit of Onam or the safety levels in Kerala. but what i meant here is the spirit of Onam as a community and the way the festival is celebrated is going down.

@ the meanderthal - Kerala is better off than any other place in India. yeah we can keep harping that and remain like this. i am doing what i can do - write about what i think is wrong. its much better than keeping quiet and thinking we are so good.

The Layman said...

I appreciate what you are trying to do man..Really..And glad to know that the hearts of at least some people are in the right place..

My only problem with the post was the generalization of Onam celebration across Kerala.

While you might have been correct in pointing out the anti social behaviour of the drunken youth, you were certainly not correct while generalizing it as a common behaviour ..

"Mallu brethren ... before getting on with their routine eve-teasing, scuffles, pick-pocketing, and groping"

I mean.. come on man.. we all know about the perverted mind of the mallu male...It has been written about time and again.. (without much benefit I must add)..and accepted by most malayali women unanimously..

But why not write something that's also encouraging??.. I'm sure there is still some good that's left in Kerala.. Maybe the kudumbashree in your area conducted some celebrations which reminded you of "good old kerala" as most of us put it..

And I'm sure there must have been some regional/traditional celebrations in your area.. You can encourage such youth/units along with pointing out the harsh truths on the other side..
I'm sure you can even get sponsorships/awards for these pro active youth through your blog...

I mean its all gloomy news man.. The only good thing I hear about Kerala is the nostalgia and the scenic beauty..

"interestingly, most girls dont even want to marry guys who live in Kerala anymore"...
I know this wasn't written for me.. But..
again.. that's generaliation!!!!

some girls.. would be correct.. most mallu girls still get married to mallu men.. And whatever they say... girls from other states have a thing for mallu men ;-)

Coming back..
"i am doing what i can do - write about what i think is wrong".. Great.. we appreciate it.. which is why we visit this blog.
But please also write about what you think is right!...

You know the audience for a blog is people like you and me..mostly youngsters.. Not saying oldies don't blog .. But if you need to inspire people.. write stories that will make a malayali proud too..

And I think meanderthal man would agree with me when I say.. we are not harping about Kerala.. but just fed up of the negativity floating around..

"ofcourse I informed the police myself and made sure the cops arrived at the scene immediately and took some action."..

Really appreciate you for that..
I don't know how many people who commented here will actually do that.
My two paisa!

Nikhil Narayanan said...

What I meant was, Kerala has a strong distribution system for alcohol that makes taking stock an easy task.This as I mentioned earlier is because of the single window system(read Bev Corp).
Alcohol flows in every state, even in dry states like Gujrat.Much of alcohol flow is unaccounted for and so they do not rise upto being a competition for the Kerala figures even in volume.

Value wise, since duties are very high in Kerala, the 250 crores is much lesser that a 250 crore of some other place.

On going to Kerala for Onam:I feel you have generalized a bit too much and I could see a lot of families, yes families and women travellers in the train I took to Kerala.
And ya, I drove through TVM on Thiruonam day, walked all the way from Corporation to Vellayambalam and coulld see zillions of families undeterred by the so called fear of being groped.

I could see the same level of enthusiasm in TVM as it was some 20 years ago.After years, my mom and dad went to see the pageantry.

The festivities have only gone up.Take it from me.May be the influence of TV has gone up and fewer thumba poo around.

As Layman says,too much of negative energy floating around.


silverine said...

@MC: Your post shows your concern for the State. If you were not bothered like many people sitting in the metros thinking scant about the deteriorating affairs, you would have probably written about other trivia!! It is when you despair that anguish like this post rises from the heart. Let us try and rectify the bad then gloat over the good! A bad can nullify a thousand good!

Keep walking doc!! You have succeeded in creating a debate like no other blogger has!! Heck in my house some people even came to blows over your posts. Ok!! I admit it was after a couple of large "smalls" :|

scorpiogenius said...

Answering the question raised here...Which place would a malayalee form a queue? Well, Kerala State Beverages Corporation[FULL STOP!]

A few years back I was coming back home in a KSRTC Bus and while we were taking the Kesavadasapuram roundabout the long queue in front of the Bev Outlet caught everyone's attention. The driver had a crack at it, "there wont be half the crowd or discipline even if you sell Malabar Chicken Biriyani free!"

Guess he is right..:)

scorpiogenius said...

And a word about the discussion on eve teasing and harassment; couldnt agree more with MC and Silverine.

Sad, but true. There is no basis for an argument against this..Kerala needs to refine its behaviour to the fairer sex and it appears that with passing years the problem is getting worse..:(

DD said...

Read this.
Why do I get the feeling this sort of thing would happen only in Reliance Kerala and not in reliance Rest of India?

MC said...

@ the layman - the bad wont just go away if we dont talk about it.

a couple of alarming statements in your comment though:

I mean.. come on man.. we all know about the perverted mind of the mallu male...It has been written about time and again.. (without much benefit I must add)..and accepted by most malayali women unanimously..
i dont think malayali women have accepted it unanimously. whatever gave you that idea? they may be swallowing it like bitter pill, for lack of freedom and dependence. thats a sad state to be in.

yes theres too much negativity. thats the way it is. and thats what we have to deal with. theres enough talk about the "good" stuff anyway.

@ nikhil - i guess we both have our own views on the liquor sales and consumption, and its effects. i appreciate your debate and sensible talk, although i still hold on to my views.

@ silverine - thanks a ton for the encouragement and support.
blows? really? gosh..thats helluva family you got! just love 'em :)

@ scorpiogenius - ahh..a smart driver there :) i was waiting in a queue today in kerala. while i was there, at least around 25 people who came later than me just walked in pushing through the line of people. oh...i was not in front of the beverages corporation :) i was at a government office.

@ dd - we cut a sorry figure in kerala when it comes to services. the mallu ego and pride makes us so unfit to be in the service industry. thats a sad truth. as you said thats why it happens only in reliance kerala.

Jackson said...

for what its worth, i support silverine and MC.. i don't think kerala is very safe for women.. even putting aside incidents of groping, 'jacky vekkal' (there, i said it) and all, most women are subjects of verbal and emotional harassment in the form of dirty comments and unwanted stares and gestures from men old enough to be their fathers, or conversely, young enough to be their sons.. and then of course on the other end of the spectrum, there are the suryanelli and ice cream phenomena..

like many others, i too have female friends and relatives who were relieved to leave kerala after completing college, or to go outside kerala to study.. its not like such harassment doesn't exist elsewhere, but we are fooling ourselves if we say that kerala is not among the worst, especially since we are supposed to be 100% literate and all..

i think whoever it was in the government (was it central or state?) that proposed more comprehensive sex education in schools was on the right track, but, of course, we all know how that's not going to happen.. a healthier attitude towards sex will go a long way in improving the attitude of men towards women, since a lot of malayali men seem to be (be it physically or socially) sexually frustrated.. i don't think the 'against indian culture' argument in this context holds much water..

as far as onam is concerned, i do think that in general, people do still try to maintain the spirit of the event, but it has, for better or worse, become more commercial than before and less about society and social bonds..

i tend to be a bit long-winded and not get to the point very quickly.. sorry.. :-)

Girish said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Nikhil Narayanan said...

Yes,fair enough. I respect you.

Similar instances happen in Bangalore too, be it with an Airtel or a Reliance.Services need to evolve a lot.Leave internet,happens with getting a new credit card too.(know a Deutsch Bank instance)
May be more in Kerala.

It is below my dignity to respond.

The MEANDERthal man said...


I really don't understand how Kerala is at the helm of the whole sexually charged fiasco. I look at the Malayalam movie industry and compare it with movies from Tamil, Telugu or Hindi and I find that our movies have the least skin show. Our movies drive on the story line and its ability to relate to the viewers. To point out but one example, Kuselan the Tamil remake of Katha Parayumbol, has a song in which Nayantara dances in the rain for no apparent reason - The situation in the movie is that it rained when the shooting was going on and everyone else returned safely except for Nayantara who felt it would be nice to take her clothes off and go dancing in the rain.

Or sample the lyrics of any Tamil and Telugu song and then compare it with a malayalam song and please tell me which is more explicit. If you really want an example, pokiri should be the ideal place to start searching (not that any other Tamil/Telugu movie songs are less vulgar). Here is the lyrics for the song Dol Dol from pokiri

doalu doalu dhaan adikkiraan
iru thoalum thoalum dhaan orasuraan
maelum keezhum dhaan izhukkiraan
muppaalum kalandhu enna kalakkuraan
puli maanai vaettai dhaan aadidumae kaattil
maan puliyai vaettai dhaan aadumidam kattil
munnum pinnum dhaan muzhumaiyaa
naan sorkka naragaththin kalavaiyaa
pen idaiyum iraivanum ondrudhaan
rendum irundhum therivadhae illai
aailaa aailaa adi aariamaalaa
agandra vizhigal enna kooriya vaelaa
oyilaa oyilaa nee silumisha thaelaa
sirukki sirippu enna mandhirakkoalaa
suda suda mazhaiyai kulu gulu veyyilai
mudhal murai ulagaththil kandaenae
vellai nira iravai karu nira pagalai
mudhal murai paarthaenae
idigalai urasi puyalgalai alasi
nadandhavan naanthaanae
idhu enna maayam malar ondrai parikka
mudhal murai bayandhaenae
nga-nja-nna na-ma-nnna
naan ya-ra-la va-zha-lla
nee udaindhu uruga
naan unarndhu paruga
valappakkam suzhalum boomi pandhu thirumbi
idappakkam suzhaludhu unnaalae
kaippidi alavu irukkindra idhayam
virindhadhu kudai poalae
irubadhu varusham paravaiyai poalae
sutri sutri thirindhaenae
irandoru nodiyil unakkullae vizhundhu
muzhuvadhum tholaindhaenae
nee enakkul nuzhaiya
naan unakkul vazhiya
naam namakkul karaiya
nam ulagam uraiya
puli maanai vaettai dhaan aadidumae kaattil
maan puliyai vaettai dhaan aadumidam kattil
munnum pinnum dhaan muzhumaiyaa
naan sorkka naragaththin kalavaiyaa
pen idaiyum iraivanum ondrudhaan
rendum irundhum therivadhae illai
aailaa aailaa adi aariamaalaa
agandra vizhigal enna kooriya vaelaa
oyilaa oyilaa nee silumisha thaelaa
sirukki sirippu enna mandhirakkoalaa

Now as far as I know, the same instances of eve teasing happen elsewhere as well (maybe to a greater extent) just that we are not aware of it. I'm not justifying it by any means, I'm just saying that it doesn't mean that if you go to Kerala you get raped. And if anything, I think it is the mindset of guys all over the world that needs a change. To quote a Friends episode

Ross(to Joey): Joey, are guys ever nice to girls for nothing?
Joey: No, only for sex.

of course we all laughed it off when we saw it, but I'm frank enough to agree there is a bit of truth in it.When I'm with a group of my friends and a girl passes by, we do make a comment amongst ourselves as to how good she looked. I'm sure if you ask yourself honestly, you'd agree to that too.We are by no means excluded from the system. we are very much a part of it. Any change that happens should begin with us. The day we agree to judge a girl based on her personality (and nothing else) is the day we are free of this affliction. "You hypocrite! First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you will see clearly enough to remove the speck from your brother's eye."

phoenix said...

May be you should grab a Statistics for dummies and learn sampling before reaching such conclusions.

How about grabbing a copy of "commenting for dummies and losers" yourself Mr Nikhil!!

Nikhil Narayanan said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Layman said...

@MC - I think you have misunderstood me.
"I dont think malayali women have accepted it unanimously"

What I meant when I wrote.."It has been written about time and again and accepted by most malayali women unanimously..", was..

Most mallu women who blog have accepted or stand by the view that mallu male is a pervert..
They have not accepted the phenomenon.. just the view.

In other words most women agree when someone says mallu males are perverts..but they certainly don't accept it as their fate.
Hope i have made myself clear now!

And don't be alarmed :-)

"the bad wont just go away if we don't talk about it"
Fine.. but then don't generalize the bad too..

@dd - believe me this happens in Hyd. To be explicit Reliance communications, Madhapur, Hi Tec city.

It's bad it happens in Kerala..maybe more than in other places too..but then doesn't only happen in Kerala!!!!!!!!!

@girish - give us the link to your blog!

@all - we (those who have gone against the views of the author partially/fuly) don't mean to harp on the goodness of Kerala. All that I'm trying to say is just like it won't change anything if you don't write about the bad, it won't do any good if you just keep writing about the bad!

I'm not questioning the blog establishment here but what good would it do if anguished people like us keep writing, writing and writing.. about the bad..all the time!!!!

It's like say.. you and I have a mother. Our mother is better off than most mothers. Now I have every right to write what I feel in my blog..agreed. But what if I start writing about our mother in the hope of changing her? You would read it and get offended by some stuff that I have written. Cos it's your mother too. You would definitely feel bad if some mistake of hers or her children are generalized as the common behaviour of all her children. And you would certainly feel pissed if I say "This happens only with my mother..why is it like this with my mother"!!!

Stupid analogy I know.. But that's what I'm trying to say.

Finally the best part.
@meanderthel man - "When I'm with a group of my friends and a girl passes by, we do make a comment amongst ourselves as to how good she looked." Thanks for having the balls to say it out loud man.

Every boy/man who has commented here...can be accused of passing comments (under the breath/loudly), ogling, staring etc..
Maybe no body have got physical..pinching, touching, groping...etc etc
But I think silverine would agree when I say that she is not ok with the previous category of harassments as well..

So why are we adopting a "holier than thou" attitude!
Why are we laughing our guts out when the foursome in "In Hari har Nagar" ogles, stares, peeps etc etc.. How many of us protested the contents of that movie?

As Meanderthel man said..if you really want change
"Any change that happens should begin with us. The day we agree to judge a girl based on her personality (and nothing else) is the day we are free of this affliction."

But then I'm sure the guys are thinking what's wrong with this fellow!

MC said...

@ everyone - no personal comments and mudslinging please. all such offensive comments will be deleted.

@ jackson - i couldnt control my laughter. what a horrible and crude term that is. but its a fact of life, i guess. appalling.

what you said about sex education is true and it would have done some good for the new generation, who would otherwise imbibe the same behaviour from their elders. but probably, at a family level, we should all stress about the importance of basic human values such as respect and kindness (particularly to women) to our younger ones. as for sex education in schools, probably the false pride and ego (added to their own frustrations) is stopping our government from implementing such changes.

@ meanderthal man - i doubt there is any sense in equating movies with real life. ofcourse some movies may depict the social fabric to a certain extent. but i doubt that a nayanthara movie can be mentioned to counter behaviours such as groping and eveteasing.

your mother analogy is very interesting. but here the mother is wonderful (just like in real life), its the children that are behaving like scums and ruining the mother.

jj said...

Why do I have a feeling this place has become more of a Blame Kerala than Save Kerala!

MC said...

@ jj - mmm..coz you are a keralite? or maybe its coz you didnt read the posts fully. not sure. why?

Jackson said...

@meanderthal: i agree with you that it is in male nature to look at women and (whether consciously or subconsciously) note how good they look.. it is also in the nature of friends to share such opinions.. i too can confess to being guilty of having done all that.. but i don't think there is anything wrong per se with looking at someone else and appreciating beauty when you see it.. the problem arises when one crosses the line between decency and harassment and openly stares or passes vulgar comments or stalks someone..
(ps, i totally love that username)

@MC: yes, you are right about the family's responsibility in ensuring a proper upbringing for their children.. a good example by the parents can often be the best education a child can get..

vinukv said...

@ all,

Ultimately it all boils down to, "Kerala is a better place without the malayali's around". Every place we go, we make it a better place to live, except for our own native place. Outside our Kerala, we are accepted as fine workers and respected for our culture and inside, look what respect we have for our own people.

Nikhil Narayanan said...

"Bharathamenna per kettal abhimaana poorithamaakanam antharangam Keralamennu kettalo tilakkanam chora namukku njarambukalil" - Vallathol

Anonymous said...

The problems that are described are not part of Kerala alone. If you know the situation of women in some of the other
states(Rajasthan, Orissa, UP, Bihar...) its pathetic. I'm not telling women have a respected position in Kerala society.
Regarding eve-teasing, do you think that only the men are to be blamed. Women implicitly or explicitly portray themselves
as objects of pleasure. For those who are wondering what's the connection, keep on wondering. So in a place like Kerala
where the law-enforcement is pathetic, obviously such incidents will happen. See every kid is born equally innocent.
So its this sick society that turns them into monsters. That implies the policies that are implemented are wrong. By
policies I mean all that goes into the making of a person, education being the most important.
If you consider that men and women are unequal only in Kerala, it will be the attitude of koopa mandookam.
Even a developed country like US, the disparity is huge. If you are statistically oriented, check out numbers for wage disparity
or number of women entering higher education, number of women in influential positions etc. in US. For all those stupid NRIs,
I suggest check out for the "percentage" of women that are raped in New York city alone.

A more blatant question can be why does a man harrass a woman. The main answer is
lust and sometimes to enforce his supremacy. So working on these causes will be a long term solution than calling police
everytime you see a woman being harrassed. If you are not a neophyte in Kerala, such instances happen in every bus, every street,
offices... almost every day. So calling police everytime you see a harrassment is impractical to say the least.

So any of these sick NRIs who scream its unsafe in Kerala, I can only tell go to hell,
for God's sake please never ever come back to Kerala. But if you run away from problems, you will be running all through your life.
These NRIs have the stupid attitude that if it wasn't for their money Kerala would have died a
painful death. For them I can only tell, there are strong sons and daughters who will carry through no matter what may happen. Yes problems are there but we
accept the problems and try to find solutions but we don't run away to a foreign country at the slightest provocation.
You might talk about opportunities now. So my advanced answer is there
are no resources anywhere in this world to satisfy a single person's greed.

Why dont we consider some different solutions. The solutions that were suggested are like use condoms than avoiding unsafe sex.

jj said...

(Oops..since most malayalis will not know what a queue means - queue is a line of waiting people)
You have set certain standards for yourself and this one ruined it! Maybe your sense of humor didn't go down well with KERALITES like me.
I wonder how the issue is being interpreted in several ways here, while the central issue addressed was how mallus gulped litres of alcohol and created havoc.
This is not an isolated incident during onam. Be it any festivities, alcohol is an integral part of the celebrations and it goes without saying how people behave in an inebriated state!

But comparing it with the spirit of our state festival and stating the celebrations are losing their sheen due to drunkards..somehow I can't agree with that. Just because mainstream media showcases and brings about such issues in public doesn't mean we have to be blinded by them. The situation in other states is pretty much bad but, we are not aware of such incidents happening elsewhere
If Kerala won the award, we deserved it. Just because the educated masses go out of the state and live a fancy life in metros and then compare it with our state, we cannot generalize the situation. Step out of these towns, enter the rural areas of Karanataka or TN or any other state. You'll see the true picture! The standard of life and socio-economic indicators are very much in favor of Kerala. Rural life in Kerala is much better compared to other states and I am saying this from personal experience.
And the issue of sexual harassment! That seems to be the burning issue here at the moment which sprung out of nowhere... to contribute my two cents- It happens not only in Kerala. Be it any state, any place, we are not safe coz of certain despicable perverts.

MC said...

@ anonymous - Regarding eve-teasing, do you think that only the men are to be blamed. Women implicitly or explicitly portray themselves as objects of pleasure. For those who are wondering what's the connection, keep on wondering.

that statement perhaps identifies a major problem that we have..our mindset. i assume that you are someone educated, and if this is your response, then its not difficult to see how bad the situation is for women in kerala.

and this blog is about kerala. we are not discussing what other states or countries are doing or how they fare in comparison. we are trying to help ourselves.

your comment is a real case-study of the lame and backward thinking malayalis have about real issues. and this blog is meant especially for people like you - so that you may read and (hopefully) start thinking..if not today, some day.

and a condom is meant to make unsafe sex safe right? i guess you have distorted views of pretty much every thing.

@ jj - this blog is on kerala, and we are trying to improve ourselves. not sit back thinking we are better than someone else. its time to get out of that mindset. if we have issues, its better that we discuss. i am sure the message will percolate down to the masses, slowly but surely. i am sure its not easy to listen to the hard facts about our own state or country, but without discussing it we are not going to get any better. when weirdos like the anonymous guy before you comment, it kind of reinforces the value of this blog. at least someone who really needs these messages is reading our blog.

silverine said...

@MC: I go birding to mostly rural areas of Karnataka and TN. These places are a revelation. People are so warm and welcoming and so innocent even though they are poor. On the other hand step out into a Kerala village and you get bombarded with catcalls and stares and worse insinuation that you are here for some purpose.

Nevermind said...

certainly not at the bank or the railway station or the department store, but YES!!! at the Civil Supplies Liquor outlet..

but again, not really. these days, there is both the official and unofficial queue at the liqour for the civilized (maybe?) and the other for the local thugs (goondas)...

Anonymous said...

it is the ottakapakshi syndrome that makes some here say Kerala is better than Bihar and UP. As if it is by the great contribution of the blogger that we acheived it. And the mallu psyche and the male psyche is attuned to look at girls, the proportions etc...but that in no way give you a chance to explicitly go and stare at the B***s of the girl and pass lewd comments, grope, sexually abuse etc. I can wholeheartedly accept the fact that man as an animal tends to do that, but please we dont live in forests, neither do we live in UP or Sudan or Saudi arabia. We live in a supposedly literate, and moderaltely enlightened state...and as MC has pointed out , the change in the mallu male psyche would come from within and not in a day or year. I would just ask you to reflect and think " Is the way you treat your wife (in terms of attitude and equality), the same as the way your father treated your mother and grandfather treated your grandma". I presume with every passing generation the male-female balance has been becoming equal towards each other, though still to a large extend in favour of men.

The reason why Nayantara dances in rain and namitha is queen etc is because of the unfulfilled fantasies in the minds of some of the bloggers, especially the ones like those who remember whole tam songs for the nice lyrics.So while the tam fellows and telugu bertheren are satisfied with seeing nayans and nami on the screen , mallu bretheren alas has to grope and that the implication???

I have stared/looked at most of the good looking girls in my college/school/workplace and admit that i still do when i see a good looking girl. That doesnt mean one acts like an ape-in-heat or something. Though it might have led to embarassing the subject of attention, at least i take an effort not to offend her and in the process demean oneself as a starer.If someone does otherwise, that is looking/staring with an intention representative of the apes lifestyle, then whoever does it has got his social fabric wrong and is a threat to society. Being an alpha male who is sexullay deprived and whose only escape seems to be staring at girls, DOES NOT ENTITLE ANYONE TO ABUSE SEXUALLY, SOCIALLY, VERBALLY or VISUALLY anyone (male or female)...SO let us, the mallu males tone it down at least to "staring at girls is my birthright" to "staring at girls without being abusive is my birthright". I think a hipocrat like me - who admits to bring a visual pervert but respects the rights and privacy of women is better than one who says - its normal it happens and its the way it is and therefore bear with my fanatasies....

The MEANDERthal man said...

Did you mean Hypocrite? or Hippocrates? or Hippopotamus? I'm not particularly bright with typos.

and I think you totally missed the point. The reason for my quoting the Tamil song (after Googling for the lyrics) was to say that Kerala is not the most sexually charged state and nothing else.

And if you really want to make a point, I think you could at least sign off with your name. But that is just my personal opinion. You can be an annoying mouse if you want to be.

Pillai said...

The MEANDERthal man points out to name 5 malayalee poets. Starting from Vinayachadran,Vailoppilly, G, Kumaranasan,Cherusseri,Ezhuthchan. Most of the ppl coming, reading and commenting here know kerala very well. Never underestimate them!
If I ask you who wrote "Sahynte Makan" you will type't you?

Sreeja said...

"If I ask you who wrote "Sahynte Makan" you will type't you?"

ha ha ha well said!!

Anonymous said...

@ Meanderthal man - Anon - I'm not particularly bright with typos.

yes, thats quite obvious!

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